Drowning

Today I went to the Maywood swimming pool with Alma, Julie, and my sister Yvette. Had fun, unexpected experiences.

Today I no longer drowned. I can breathe and say what I want to say. Before, my lyrics were muffled by the prejudice that followed their exertion, but now they are amplified. Now i can sing my song without having to worry how off tone i may be. Ha! Is This It by The Strokes is sneaking up on my iPOD more everyday. I wonder...

Make What You Want of It...

Morning Art...

Today I woke up at about 4:40 a.m because I was texting my new friend Art and knocked out. I dunno I guess I had in mind that I did not want to go to sleep so i woke up really early. So far nothing is wrong, I feel fine and awake. So today we continued our game of 21 questions. I was amazed at how many good questions he asks and he seems to have them planned but he doesn't. So I went to the restroom and decided to take a picture because it reminded me of Alexis's camel toe picture. Alexis is nice. She is honest and has prolific answers to all my problems. Aww Ale i had a moment. Thank you. I was back in bed because I feel all shitty this week. Hopefully it passes. Yeah so right now I'm listening to The Veronicas( 4ever) and still texting Art! Dayumm! hahaha. "Only if they put theyre finger more into.." hahahah quote of the day. Well ill update this later because I have to go turn in the Application for the Maywood Scholarship and go Swimming with Alma and my future friend Julie. Lates Ya'll.

Make What You Want Of It...

Taking Laps

Six thirty was the time that was displayed on my sidekick's screen. I called Carla up today to routinely remind her that I was at Bell ready to take my frustration out on the track. I am no longer nervous upon entering this school. Before, I thought I was an outsider to the world of Bell. There, I had lost my friends and my old self.I spotted her with the extra earphones I had asked her to bring. She always remember the smallest things. I can appreciate a friend like that. One who is honest and true. We decided to walk a lap, like always, and talk about our weekend. After we decided we were going to run seven laps, stop, and run seven more. Today i was not feeling well, moody swingy even, and I jut wanted to focus on something more productive, running. We began to outrun people and make them get infuriated, a humorous sight to behold.After the twelve laps we actually ran we decided to do some escalators, or stairs. I felt nauseous and decided to "rest" for a while. Then some savages came from nowhere and began doing some squats towards Carla! They were inconsiderate and annoying! Then we stopped and went home thanks to the nobodies.
Running from something usually leads you to a further distance than you actually thought was possible. It makes you wonder why you were running in the first place, and if you can go back with the same stamina. You can fall and scrape a knee amid the pain stacking hours of your return from your somber departure.

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Caffeine Rant

Sitting here , drinking my 7-11 "regular" coffee with three helpings of white cocoa, 2 of hazelnut Cinnamon and one half and half, ( along with 5 packets of sugar) I realize that "regular" isn't always regular. You see regular to who? To GOD? To the City Council? Your parents? To who? Regular to me just defines something that is common to a specific group of people, in this case 7-11 customers. I wonder, what is regular to the people at Starbucks, or the people at Tierra Mia here in Cudahy? Do their taste buds agree that 7-11 coffee is in fact regular? I don't know. I would just call it the "common drink of our customers". Yeah, but its too long(no she didn't say it), so I am drinking the CDOC of 7-11! Makes you wonder why AIDS and STD are also abbreviated. Are they regular too? Are they regular to GAY lifestyles? In some parts yes. In some no, so I guess what I am trying to say is that AIDS and STD apply to everyone in the world.They are all different but still the same, they are just under some common agenda that helps notify the world of what it is they have. They are all one big 7-11 with infinite amount of possibilities and still have the same flavor, or disease. Yes 7-11 says regular and not CDOC but its not funny when the A word comes up and everyone crucifies a rainbow.

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The Modern Outlet...

Lately I was trying to figure myself out. I am a high school graduate, I should be proud but I'm not. I should feel more excited but I am unmoved. Why is that? Is it because lately I have cheated on my friendships, but then again my friendships are cheats of what they are suppose to be so does that make me be in the right senses. Oh, my name is Ivan, I come from an okay mexican home which has kept its culture in tact. I admire that. They are always there for you with stories of the past to elucidate the well being of this country. As vivid as they're ideas may seem, they fail to address problems that hurt me the most. I am stuck in shadows of confusion. Do I like that? Do I hate those?
From the looks of it, UC Santa Cruz is my way out. It is my path to new beginnings where if people ask something about me I am not afraid to say what's on my mind. Why is it that now i have become this person that I always wanted to be in High School? One of my friends told me that it is because i wasn't broken. Broken. Broken sounds like it i was messed up. I think he meant i was not myself, I wasn't liberated. Yeah, liberated. Well I thank him for saying that anyways. Now I can move on with my broken/ liberated self.
More. I recently had an experience which changed my life haha. I would shy away from these emotions in school but once I was set free, i could try. Not a good experience. It left me with questions and confused emotions. I mean talk about badly handled but I mean I appreciate the aid to make me know myself more. It's just did I have to lose a friend this fast? Did I disappoint so many without even knowing? I feel guilty confused and unknowing. The reason I am writing this is because I have learned to say what is on my mind. Through simple monotonous words I can get my message across; I don't shy away from new things. Why stay secluded in my ideas when i can let the world know without actually letting the world know?
This is my first post, my first message to the cyber world some call an outlet.

Make What You Want of It...