Lately I was trying to figure myself out. I am a high school graduate, I should be proud but I'm not. I should feel more excited but I am unmoved. Why is that? Is it because lately I have cheated on my friendships, but then again my friendships are cheats of what they are suppose to be so does that make me be in the right senses. Oh, my name is Ivan, I come from an okay mexican home which has kept its culture in tact. I admire that. They are always there for you with stories of the past to elucidate the well being of this country. As vivid as they're ideas may seem, they fail to address problems that hurt me the most. I am stuck in shadows of confusion. Do I like that? Do I hate those?
From the looks of it, UC Santa Cruz is my way out. It is my path to new beginnings where if people ask something about me I am not afraid to say what's on my mind. Why is it that now i have become this person that I always wanted to be in High School? One of my friends told me that it is because i wasn't broken. Broken. Broken sounds like it i was messed up. I think he meant i was not myself, I wasn't liberated. Yeah, liberated. Well I thank him for saying that anyways. Now I can move on with my broken/ liberated self.
More. I recently had an experience which changed my life haha. I would shy away from these emotions in school but once I was set free, i could try. Not a good experience. It left me with questions and confused emotions. I mean talk about badly handled but I mean I appreciate the aid to make me know myself more. It's just did I have to lose a friend this fast? Did I disappoint so many without even knowing? I feel guilty confused and unknowing. The reason I am writing this is because I have learned to say what is on my mind. Through simple monotonous words I can get my message across; I don't shy away from new things. Why stay secluded in my ideas when i can let the world know without actually letting the world know?
This is my first post, my first message to the cyber world some call an outlet.
Make What You Want of It...
From the looks of it, UC Santa Cruz is my way out. It is my path to new beginnings where if people ask something about me I am not afraid to say what's on my mind. Why is it that now i have become this person that I always wanted to be in High School? One of my friends told me that it is because i wasn't broken. Broken. Broken sounds like it i was messed up. I think he meant i was not myself, I wasn't liberated. Yeah, liberated. Well I thank him for saying that anyways. Now I can move on with my broken/ liberated self.
More. I recently had an experience which changed my life haha. I would shy away from these emotions in school but once I was set free, i could try. Not a good experience. It left me with questions and confused emotions. I mean talk about badly handled but I mean I appreciate the aid to make me know myself more. It's just did I have to lose a friend this fast? Did I disappoint so many without even knowing? I feel guilty confused and unknowing. The reason I am writing this is because I have learned to say what is on my mind. Through simple monotonous words I can get my message across; I don't shy away from new things. Why stay secluded in my ideas when i can let the world know without actually letting the world know?
This is my first post, my first message to the cyber world some call an outlet.
Make What You Want of It...
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